buy xanax Q&A

Alright, so ive been diagnosed with panic attacks (but i dont think panic disorder) but i do get them frequently, i have really bad hypochondria but i dont obsessively sanitize myself or anything, social anxiety disorder and clinical depression. As well as some OCD, which I think is fairly true but..heres my problem. About every year I become obsessed (and Imean its my purpose in life and its all I can think of and its my reason to live and its all that makes me happy, its the only reason to wake up, etc and it provides me with complete euphoria) A MOVIE -_- at my worst ive seen one 25 times in the movie theatre. its my escape. and usually i become obsessed with an actor from it. Im not gonna say what movie im osessed with now at this moment, but I am. Last year it was another one. And then I start looking for a guy in real life that looks like whatever actor from the movie that Im obsessed with. Last year I found one and I was OBSESSED with this boy (the actor and the one in real life) until now..that Ive found another movie and guy. This started when I was 8 and now Im 16. Nothing else in life gives me as much pleasure and every day I just wanna see the movie, watch the actor in the movie and obsess. Ill buy everything merchandise, soundtracks, posters and for a year ill just live and breathe it. It provides me with my only happiness. Might it be because Im afraid of real relationships and getting hurt (which I am) that instead I turn to movies and actors to fill me with the same joy I would have if i were in a relationship? Its emberassing but the movie/actor ecome my almost everything.
Also I constantly have thoughts about killing people. Not family, just friends and especially strangers. I hate people. So so so so so much. Everyones a filthy peice of **** and all they do is hurt eachother. Were lower than animals, which I use to torture when I was smaller…Ive denied any impulses to do anything,though. Although when I get mad, as youd expect, I go ******* insane. I would love to torture people ,more than kill. I eel like everytime I teel people these things they dont take me seriously..do I have to do it for people finalyl to take notice and believe me and see the **** theyve done to me?
I go to a psych and im supposed to be on celexa but im only on xanax. I can deal with anxiety. And I dont really want the obsessions to stop because theyre the only thing that makes me happy in life. Is this a form of OCD? Id like some opinoins/answers.

I have the worst panic attacks! I experience confusion, think I’m about to or am dying, hot flashes, dizziness. I also can’t sleep and this might sound stupid but when I’m about to go to sleep I fear I won’t wake up. My physician has given me Ultram for anxiety, Seroquil for sleep. Ultram doesn’t work and I’m literally afraid to take seroquil because it hits you so hard and makes you go to sleep like a tranquilizer and I usually have a panic attack until I can’t fight it anymore and pass out. I take xanax (buy it on the street cause no doc will give it to me), I hate taking it but it SERIOUSLY is the only thing that will work. I’ve tried wellbutrin, lexapro, paxil, ALL antidepresants and most other sleep (trousadone) and anti anxieties but the only thing that truly works is xanax .. maybe that really is the only thing that will work for me and that depresses me terribly. please suggestions will help if there are any left to give.

I’m having trouble with income, and doctor visits are pricey. Like 40$ a visit, I was wondering can I just buy medication online? whats the con of buying it online? it seems cheaper and i don’t need a prescription. everytime i go to my doctor he gives me on prescription for one fill of xanax, and makes me revisit and pay 40$ to see him i think its a lame scheme for doctors to make money he could easily give me like 5 refills when i run out. :\ help pls?

I have panic attacks and I am looking for a way to either buy xanax online or get a prescription online. I have searched a lot of sites but I am scared to pay them and they end up being a scam, does anyone know of a reliable site? Thank you in advance for taking the time to answer this and God bless.