Did I Really Screw Up? The Doctor Seemed To Think So. Help.?
So, my doc prescribed me .25mg xanax and 20mg celexa (i have erratic depression and madCRAZY panic/anxiety attacks) Generally, I suffer too much anxiety to go out and function without “training wheels”. When I have an anxiety attack, it’s as if the world is ending, literally. I can’t even begin to explain the horror. It’s bad enough that my heart will beat in my head/face and I nearly pass out. I usually don’t have much recollection of what happens during them. I informed the doc of how severe it was (sometimes I was sent home home from work with sympathy). I was able to be quite thorough explaining it after spending 8 years suffering. The other day, as I was unable to make an appointment (it’s finals week), I spoke with the doc on the phone to renew my prescriptions. I told him I tweaked the way I used the xanax in comparison to the label’s instructions (take 1 pill twice daily as needed). He never told me a specific way to take it (just something like: take as needed. it works quicker than buspar.)
HERE’S WHAT I DID:
–I tried taking one when I felt the onset of anxiety/panic (no relief). Tried this once more (same result)
–Since label said take 1 twice daily, I felt safe with two at once at the onset of attack (no relief)
–FACT: never took the xanax more than 2 days in a row (i fear addiction/dependency)
–Eventually, I tried (4) of the .25mg pills to yield 1mg. 1mg caused subtle relief and prevented the anxiety from going into full blown attack mode.
I did all of the above with confidence through endless hours of research on medical sites and speaking to people with personal experiences. I found that it is not at all uncommon for someone with SEVERE anxiety/panic attacks to take 1mg of xanax every so often to combat the attack (mine are 1, sometimes 2 attacks per week. Sometimes none). It made sense to not let the benzo in xanax build in my system by taking it daily (it’s short acting anyways; seemed like i was buying a ticket to hell). I did this modifying on my own without consulting the doc because he wouldn’t return my calls. He BERATED me, quite frankly. He said it was really stupid of me to do such a thing. I only told him about it because I wanted a prescription of .5mg or 1mg xanax to take on an ACTUAL as needed basis. I didn’t really get the chance to explain how I experimented with the xanax. It was as soon as he heard me say “4 of the .25mg pill before I get any relief” that he tweaked. Anyhow, i stated that the .25mg xanax must change. So, over the phone, he prescribes me .5mg klonopin. I am quite confused. Was I so wrong to do what I did? Should he have given me a larger dose of xanax to take maybe once or twice a week in the first place since I stated I DON’T WANT TO TAKE IT EVERYDAY AND I DON’T WANT TO BECOME DEPENDENT? I mean seriously, .25mg, the lowest it goes and I expressed how bad my anxiety/panic attacks were.